Potty Training Isn’t a Race: Learning at Their Own Pace

In a world where milestones often feel like checklists, potty training can become a quiet source of pressure for many parents. You might hear from other families whose toddlers were out of diapers at 18 months, or you might see social media posts boasting quick results. It’s easy to wonder, “Am I behind? Is my child falling behind?”

But here’s the truth: potty training isn’t a race. Every child is unique—and the timeline that works best is the one that respects their pace, their temperament, and their readiness.

The Problem with Comparing Timelines

Every child has their own developmental clock. Some toddlers are ready to potty train at two years old, while others might not be interested until closer to four. And both are completely normal.

When parents compare their child to others, it can lead to:

• Pushing training before the child is ready
• Increased power struggles
• Feelings of failure or frustration
• Lowered confidence for both parent and child

No one wins when we treat potty training like a competition. It’s not about how fast—it’s about how confidently and comfortably your child learns to manage their body.

Why Readiness Matters More Than Age

Potty training success has less to do with age and more to do with readiness. Some signs of readiness include:

• Staying dry for longer periods
• Showing interest in using the toilet
• Being able to follow simple instructions
• Expressing discomfort with dirty diapers

If your child isn’t showing these signs, it’s okay to wait. Starting too early can lead to unnecessary stress and more accidents, which can delay progress in the long run.

The Benefits of Going at Their Own Pace

1. Fewer power struggles
When training aligns with your child’s internal readiness, they’re more likely to cooperate and feel in control.

2. Better long-term success
Children who aren’t rushed tend to retain their potty habits better and experience fewer regressions.

3. Stronger parent-child connection
Respecting your child’s pace builds trust and shows them you believe in their abilities.

4. Less anxiety around toileting
Children who feel pressured may associate the toilet with stress. Going slowly helps them feel safe and confident.

Addressing External Pressure

Family, friends, or even childcare providers might ask, “Aren’t they potty trained yet?” It can be frustrating—but remember, you know your child best.

You can respond with:

• “We’re following their lead, and it’s going great.”
• “They’re learning at their own pace, and we’re proud of them.”
• “We’re focused on confidence, not speed.”

Trust your parenting instinct. You’re doing the right thing by supporting your child’s development in a way that feels respectful and kind.

What If You’ve Already Tried—and It’s Not Working?

If you’ve started potty training and it’s become a struggle, it’s okay to pause. A short break can actually help reset the experience.

Signs your child might benefit from a break:

• Frequent accidents and distress
• Refusal to sit on the potty
• Regression or sudden fear

Taking a step back doesn’t mean failure—it means you’re tuning in to your child’s needs. Try again in a few weeks, and you may be surprised at how much more ready they feel.

Encouraging Progress Without Pressure

Here are some ways to keep potty training positive without rushing:

• Read potty books together
• Let them choose their own potty or underwear
• Celebrate small steps like sitting on the potty—even without going
• Offer praise and encouragement instead of bribes or punishments

Make it about learning, not performing. Your child will feel more confident and capable.

There’s no gold medal for being the first to potty train—but there is peace, confidence, and joy in letting your child get there when they’re truly ready. Trust their timing. Trust your role as their guide. And remember, the real goal isn’t just dry pants—it’s a happy, empowered child.

So take a deep breath, let go of the rush, and know that you’re already on the right track.